Revellanotvanella, and what she said

Let go

Recently, I have been trying to reconnect and recapture my creative self and at 34, I know its still there, I’m not completely lost I think: but I have given into some chronic procrastination. Alot of the creative stuff I once embraced had now tapered off and were no longwr front and center within the forefront of my mind.

Everyone knows how it happens, thats simple, getting caught in the flurry of day-to-day obligations,  being an artist certainly doesn’t protect me from procrastination any more than it does the next person, in fact its the total opposite (alot going on up there). The hidden gem inside me has become like the sleeping giant in Jack And The Beanstalk.

 I just don’t remember how to get it back, I thought for yearsFor a few years now I’d been cramming every inspiration that fluttered by like I’m categorizing a shopping list for the groceries, except for weeks at a time …(and frankly thats alot of groceries).  I could see in my mind what it was like to create, and what I wanted to be doing, but there was no bridge connecting the two. At that point my mind need a rewind button

Another day goes by, and I’m telling myself over and over I’ll just get to it tomorrow. Today it’s Sunday and like every other Sunday for awhile now, I’m hitting myself in the head that I procrastinated away another weekend when the clarity is crystal clear that the opportunity was there staring back at me and I was just not biting.

Moments here, moments there to sudden burst of creativity that flow by so fast and it’s back to work. I’m on my own self auto-pilot.

So what is happening with all that crammed in information anyway? I wonder.


That special word us artist resonate with so much but let get hushed up within us
Creativity is like energy, it always is, and always will be, and I believe the potential for that energy can be tapped .


Back in high school I was fascinated by how the brain worked and even more intrigued to discover how resilient it could be. I would drag my big blue copy of How The Mind Works by Steven Pinker, class to class everyday and afterward scour every magazine I could find looking for more clues. I knew the mind was important but I just didn’t understand enough to say, how. Although Steven Pinker was pretty cutting edge at the time I was oblivious to any real depths, and just well, wanted to know how the mind works. [I know right.]

I could remember even in the early 90’s, when I was in middle school, first hearing the mention of the word “innovation”. And even though I wasn’t  quite as absorbed then with those same questions about the brain, I liked the sound of being able to do things in a whole new way–I was always a no rules chick so bending them was quite appealing. Especially at a time when school life felt so menial it was near excruciating. I was given the permission to form my own new ideas and ways of thinking, even if it was locked up inside my head.

The mind is a set of cognitive faculties including consciousness, perception, thinking, judgement, and memory. The faculty of a human being’s reasoning and thoughts. 

One new exploration that interested me more was plasticity. When the mind is not exercised enough this can lead the neural pathways to cerebral atrophy, becoming unrecognizable to the brain.

In brain tissue, atrophy describes a loss of neurons and the connections between them

Jakhongir Shaturaev, Impossible is nothing.. Impossible is nothing…

I’m a big believer in mind over matter.  As a little kid my dad often repeated this over-and-over the whole ‘Mind Over Matter’ thing before I even knew what it meant. Funny how our parent’s noise called wisdom comes tumbling back to us later in life. 

Think of these pathways as the many trails you run into on a long hike in the woods. One notices right away which ones are used more often and the other not so much. Im a solitary being so I often get pulled toward exploring the unknown. That’s another topic. Usually there is always that one well-worn path greeting us in our life. It’s a shame we couldn’t simply go to our family physicians and have them scan up a image of these mind maps in our head and know right away which neural pathways needed revisiting most. It could definitely save a lot of time and right out of a Phillip Dick novel, [‘The Game-Player’s of Titan’ anybody]

 It would be like mapping out a path to our former selves when we were at our most productive. Essentially, remembering who we were.

Im optimistic, –one day though.


( be continued)






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This entry was posted on April 4, 2016 by in psychology and tagged , , , , , , .
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